Life goes by so fast, let’s capture the moment

As I begin my twenties I reflect on the past, living in the moment and documenting my life so I can hold onto these memories forever.

So this is 20… one whole week into the next chapter of my life. I celebrated the last of my teenage years in style. Surrounded by all of my bestest friends where laughter, cameras clicking and tequila shots filled the room. A homemade chocolate cake (my absolute favourite) made by my housemates, presents they knew I’d love and cards full of moving words that made me laugh but also want to cry at how well these girls know me. Decorating the house with my best friend from home, Imogen, with balloons and banners. There was something so comforting about entering my twenties with the girl who I spent pretty much everyday of my teens with. With someone who truly knows every part of me and how I got to be the girl I am today. Being surrounded by so much love is something that I’ll remember forever.

I don’t really feel any different… but who actually feels a change when they turn a different age. My 20s has so far only given me two of the worst hangovers I’ve ever experienced. Maybe I’m getting old quicker than I thought? However, I do feel this sense of a fresh start. It's Aries season, spring is in full bloom and uni is wrapping up for Easter. I feel like this blog has allowed me to let go of my teens and become excited about my future and what is in store for me, instead of dwelling on the past. Also I know I’m making it sound like leaving your teens is some quarter life crisis but letting go of your childhood in a sense can be scary for some. Realistically I know nothing will change straight away but it’s something new and I hate change.

I think your 20s can be daunting as it signifies we're growing and that time is moving so quickly. We’re no longer school kids, we’re adults in the real world where change is inevitable. I think we all just want to freeze that last moment of being ‘a kid’ and hold onto it for just a little longer. But you’ve got to remember that holding onto the past is stopping you from experiencing exciting opportunities in the future. So I guess my motto when you're scared of letting go of the past is to truly live in the moment and to document everything. I want to remember everything, every feeling and all the people that matter the most to me in these moments of my life.

Ever since I was little my life has been documented. My dad and his video camera were around long before Youtube and vloggers. I loved being in front of the camera as a little kid. I was raised through dance and musical theatre where you were constantly pushed out of your comfort zone and you learned to let go of all your inhibitions, essentially making you an extrovert. My favourite thing to do is looking back on old camera footage of me and my sister as little kids. I tear up looking at our innocent selves, where our high pitched laughs would fill the house. A time where there was no social media and we were protected from the harsh world and we could just be kids. Our little brummie accents make me smile and watching us dance around our old living room to the high school musical soundtrack, playing on our pink cd player covered in barbie and butterfly stickers. I’m so glad my childhood was documented through those videos. And even though the videos soon turned to just pictures, I still love looking back. Realistically life changes, not every one is going to stay in our lives and those pictures have froze that moment in time. Froze that feeling, memory and in some alternate universe I believe 5 year old me is still living in that memory of singing karaoke on Christmas Day with my sister. All my family are there cheering us on and my nan is still here smiling at us with so much pride.

I always think about how from age 13- 16 there isn’t that many pictures of me or I deleted them all due to my insecurities. Although I remember all the memories, I regret deleting the photos out of a temporary hatred of myself. Those awkward ages where your growing into your skin, hitting puberty, learning how to style yourself and do makeup are hard. I think my struggle with acne, although not as severe as some people’s, knocked my confidence and it still does sometimes. Then mix that with having a mouth full of braces, just give me a pair of glasses and I’d look like your stereotypical nerd. Also, as silly as it sounds now because it is my favourtie feature, I used to hate being ginger. It was an easy target for people to pick on and I could never understand why everyone older would adore my hair but kids would tease you for it. I guess when your insecure you don’t want to stand out, you want to blend in with the rest. I just wanted to look like everyone else. But with a lot of self love and really stopping giving one about what people thought about me… my child like confidence and care free spirit came back.

I made a promise to myself when I went to uni I would document it all. Every memory, every friend made, all the highs and lows. At first my flatmates probably found it weird that I would constantly stick a camera in their face but they’re very much used to it now. I will always cherish every single moment and picture taken. Even the little funny moments like having dance battles in the kitchen on a random Tuesday, stealing a jam roly poly from next door and making diss tracks… it’s all documented.

I remember getting my first disposable camera, me and my flat girls all got one for our first ever girls holiday to Prague. We were all so excited to take the most chaotic and funniest pictures of our holiday antics. And we did not disappoint. Who else would have pictures of their friends taking shots from the bottle from someone dressed as Marshmallow. Pictures of us in our favourite underground bar, dancing on stages in clubs, eating tons of pasta and even pictures inside a Czech hospital. They will always be my favourite.

After that I bought a million disposable cameras for everytime me and my friends hung out- whether that was Halloween parties, pres in my bedroom or Christmas dinners. Each picture brings the biggest smile to my face as even though I’m living in this time of my life, I know I will look back in 5 years and reflect on how happy I was and the most beautiful friends I had around me. They say uni is the best years of your life and I couldn't agree more. I’ve found myself, discovered a new city, found my passion in my degree and made friends for life. Now ever since I got my digital camera, I cannot stop taking pictures of my friends, it's my new hobby. Our debriefs the next morning now follow with looking back on all the funny pictures from the night before (most of which none of us even remember taking). Documenting all my best friend’s birthdays and nights out that I know won’t last forever. I guess time goes by so fast I'm just trying to hold onto every moment.

Even though we can’t slow time down and life is moving a million miles an hour, always remember to stand still and take a picture to remember the moment. Capture the happiness and fulfilment you feel and give yourself all these moments to look back on. And why shouldn’t we capture all our drunk, crazy memories. We’re not young forever and we need some evidence that we were once cool to show people when we’re old and grey.